Been there, done that
Carolina Beach, North Carolina
We spend memorial weekend with Ss old high school friends. Lots of booze and smoke, lots of sunning and eating. A wonderful break, but I can hear the floor and the unpainted walls singing off-key all the way from Florida. Also, its so strange to hear people talking about their careers, planning lives, planning pregnancies, school zones, retirements. One tiny woman even talks about do-it-yourself time-shares. Im too medicated to be angry or even roll my eyes, and part of me even realizes that making special weekends out of your life to get fucked up is healthier than being fucked up every single day
but I just dont want these peoples lives, dont really have much to talk about
except how much we all hate the current regime. I feel really sad (in my medicated way, detached from the sadness) because I just dont belong in this life. Also, because I dont have a comparable life to belong in. Yet. And sometimes it feels like it will never happen. Thinking about what the future will look like stresses me, scares me.